All the pre-draft talk finally led Athletes in Action to release their own picks for each of the 32 teams before the actual 2018 NFL draft. While most media analysts pick and choose from the NCAA ranks, AIA’s big board consists of characters found in the Bible.
Who does each team pick? Take a look at how the first round could shake out in our mock draft of biblical proportions.
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1. Cleveland Browns - Moses, QB/WR, Hebrew University at Egypt
The dual threat quarterback who can play just about any position asked of him goes to the Browns. Moses can do it all. He can receive just about anything thrown his way and if you give give him enough instructions, he can pass anything along. A reluctant and quiet leader, Moses led his college team from the cellar to the promised land in just a few months. Interesting fact about Moses: his brother, Aaron, runs all of his social media accounts.
2. New York Giants - Timothy, RB, Damascus Road College
The Giants flirted with the idea of taking a quarterback, but end up taking a huge risk on the unproven running back out of DRC. Timothy rarely saw the field, often playing second fiddle to DRC’s workhorse back, Paul. When he did see snaps, he showed amazing potential and the Giants are banking on the fact that Paul taught him a few tricks. Another knock on Timothy is that he declared early for the draft and perhaps could have helped his future stock by staying in the college game. Don’t count him out just because he is young, this is a guy who is driven and has fresh legs.
3. New York Jets - Benaiah, DE, Kabzeel College
The Jets take the safest player in the draft. Benaiah first caught scouts’ attention as a freshmen playing against the Moabite Lions. He was in the Lion’s backfield all day. Double teams had no effect on his ability to get after the quarterback. The mighty prospect out of Kabzeel will thrive at the next level where he will be constantly pitted against less talented lineman. The weather patterns in New York make it an ideal landing spot for Beneniah as he has proven to be unstoppable on the slippery surface.
4. Cleveland Browns - Paul, RB, Damascus Road College
The Browns select their franchise running back by grabbing the small but pesky runner out of DRC. Despite his small stature, Paul is not afraid to run right into the middle of trouble. His history of concussions aside, Paul is perhaps the most determined, aggressive, and passionate player in this year’s draft. The Browns can be sure that he will beat his body to help this team succeed. Many analysts have pegged Paul as the one person in this draft that can motivate the people are him to turn any franchise around.
5. Denver Broncos - Pharoah, CB, Egypt University
The Broncos take a chance on the big cornerback from EU. Scouts absolutely love his stubbornness on the field. He has a knack for bouncing right back after he gets burned by acting like it never even happened. Short term memory is a great trait for any CB and Pharoah has plenty of it. Although he is a violent hitter, he may forever be plagued by his inability to intercept the Israelites during his last collegiate game. The Broncos are hoping this battle tested veteran can step in right away and contribute.
6. Indianapolis Colts - Elijah, WR, Tishbe University at Gilead
The Colts go all in on the passing game by drafting Elijah out of TUG. Though he has the stats to justify getting picked here, his shining moment came in the bowl game when he outran the entire Jezebel defense. The boy can flat out fly. The yellow flag on Elijah is that he has a tendency to taunt the opposing teams. With that being said, he has a habit of backing it up. The Colts sacrificed a bit on defense with this pick but their offensive firepower is undeniable—assuming Luck comes back at full strength.
7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Jacob, RB, University of Paddan-aram
The Bucs fill a big need by taking the best running back on the board with Jacob. A master at the art of misdirection, Jacob routinely fooled defenders into thinking he was going one way before changing courses at the last minute. If he can get to the edge, there is no catching this guy. He looks most comfortable when he is running for his life, but he also has a lot of mileage on his legs. As long as he can fully heal from a hip injury he sustained last year in a wrestling match off campus, he should be the three down back the Bucs are looking for.
8. Chicago Bears - Samson, LB, Zora University
The Bears grab the best linebacker in this year’s draft. Samson has a history of off the field issues but there is no doubting his physical ability. 300 lb offensive lineman do not stand a chance against a man who has dominated thousands of blockers at once. He is an athletic freak whose astronomical numbers at the combine had him skyrocket up teams’ big boards. The biggest weakness, aside from his hair being cut, will be the distraction of cheerleaders from the opposing teams. If he can keep his focus on the field, he will help solidify the back end of the Bears defense for 20 years.
9. San Francisco 49ers - Mordecai, DE, University of Persia
The 49ers grab perhaps the sneakiest defensive player in the draft. Mordecai often gets ignored because of his simple style of play. However, when you least expect it, he will get after your quarterback. You do not hear this often for a defensive player, but Mordecai has been labeled as “clutch” because of his tendency to come on strong late in games. The 49ers are hoping that Mordecai makes a habit of spoiling the plans of opposing offenses.
10. Oakland Raiders - Deborah, FB, Ephraim Prep School
The Raiders take a chance on the small fullback out of Ephraim. Deborah may be a woman, but you would be making a huge mistake if you take her lightly. The dangerous fullback is pegged by many scouts as one who could revolutionize the position. With the game on the line and her team ahead, Deborah has shown a unique ability to drive into the heart of the defense and keep gaining ground. If there is something at stake, Deborah is the one you want leading the way.
11. Miami Dolphins - Noah, S, Floodwaters Bible College
The Dolphins get the anchor for their defense in Noah. While playing safety for FBC, Noah single handedly prevented disasters from any aerial attack his team faced. The scouting report on Noah is pretty straightforward: he does not have a great feel for the game, but if you give him a playbook, he will faithfully devour it and perfect any scheme the coaches ask of him. The Dolphins would be wise to give Noah a flood of information early on. He can handle it.
12. Buffalo Bills - Og, ST, Bashan School of Arts
The Bills roll the dice with the special teams ace out of Bashan. What makes this guy so special and worthy of a first round investment? His size. Og stands at 10’8” tall. Rumor has it that his bed is 13’ long! Combined with his giant size, he has a vertical leap of 42”. In 2016 alone Og was able to block 14 field goal attempts and 22 extra point attempts. Look for opponents to put their kicking game on hold when the Bills come to town.
13. Washington Redskins - Cain, LB, Eastern Eden University
Cain was one of the most productive linebackers in college football last year. His hard hitting style shows someone who has a disregard for human life, however, there seems to be something lacking in his effort that scouts cannot seem to put a finger on. Coaches would be wise not to question how much sacrifice he is willing to give as his short temper has proven costly in the past. Also, don’t call him bro.
14. Green Bay Packers - Mary, WR, Nazareth College of the Arts
The Packers make history by drafting the first woman to play in the NFL! Though shocking, the pick makes sense. The Packers have utilized the Hail Mary pass on multiple occasions last few years and there was talk in the offseason of making it a more central component of the offense—especially after losing Jordy Nelson to the Raiders. Who better to have waiting in the end zone than Mary herself? The rest of the NFC North better hope her future children do not feel a sense of loyalty to the Packer organization.
15. Arizona Cardinals - Eglon, C, The Moab University
The Cardinals get an absolute mauler to lead their offensive line. Eglon, a 460 lb center, has been described by scouts as “tyrannical” because of his tendency to run over anyone who stands in his way. He plays with a mean streak rivaled only by medieval kings. The only red flag on Eglon is his inability to successfully handle left handed opponents. Look for opposing defenses to line up their best lefties to knife through the center’s soft spot.
16. Baltimore Ravens - Boaz, RT, College of Bethlehem
The Ravens add stability to their offensive line with Boaz. In Boaz, the Ravens are getting a player who is not ruthless at anything, but good at just about everything. Scouts describe him as responsible for his side of the offensive line and a man who takes protection (of his quarterback) seriously. This pick may not be flashy, but it fills a huge need.
17. Los Angeles Chargers - Prodigal, S, Judah Prep High School
A surprising pick by the Chargers who snag the youngster right out of high school. Scouts everywhere questioned whether he should risk it all and try his luck in the league or play it safe and go to college. The cocky teenager will learn quickly that the NFL is a big boy league. Despite the steep learning curve, his talent is undeniable. The Chargers will have to have some patience with him. The best case scenario is that Prodigal rides the pine for the first year, learns some humility, and makes a run at comeback player of the year in the near future.
18. Seattle Seahawks - Gideon, OT, College of Manasseh
Gideon has been shooting up the draft boards in the last few weeks for reasons that are still unclear. He is vastly undersized to play along the offensive line and his skill set leaves a lot to be desired. One thing he does have going for him: he listens to his coach and follows instructions well. The Seahawks are hoping he can play a vital role on the offensive line by leading a small unit against the ferocious defenses in the NFC West.
19. Dallas Cowboys - Peter, CB, Galilee College of Aquatics
The Cowboys use their 1st round pick on the confident cornerback. Peter is not afraid to talk. He is a gambler at the cornerback position who thrives when he is targeted by curious quarterbacks. No stranger to failure and putting his foot in his mouth, Peter has a unique ability to press on after his (many) mistakes. The Dallas media will have a lot of fun with Peter and his unique...personality.
20. Detroit Lions - David, LB, Judah High School
The Lions get perhaps the steal of the draft as they take a chance on the high school phenom out of Judah. David made a name for himself last year when he absolutely rocked Goliath on his way to helping his team win the state championship. Although he has been declared the next great linebacker, he is undersized and his emotional style of play has led to outbursts of weeping and bouts of depression. He will take time to develop but this pick should help Detroit finally become the king of the NFC North.
21. Cincinnati Bengals - Jabez, DE, Central Judah University
Jabez was one of the most disruptive rushers in the college game last year. Scouts will point out that he is a one trick pony—but it is a great one trick. His game is simple. He has one go to move and he has perfected it. The Bengals know exactly what they are getting with this pick and so does anyone who tries to block him. By keeping it simple, Jabez will continue to thrive at the next level.
22. Buffalo Bills - Jethro, QB, Midian College
The Bills grab the smartest quarterback in the draft. Jethro, a relatively unknown player during his time at MC, turned heads in the pre draft process when he aced the wonderlic test. Jethro may not have the physical skills needed for the quarterback position but scouts are drooling over his feel for the game. He is able to read a defense quickly and figure out exactly what it will take to beat it. The Bills will hope that Jethro wins out the starting spot but, if nothing else, will be excited to have him giving advice to leaders in their organization for years to come.
23. New England Patriots - Goliath, OT, Philistine University
The Jaguars fortify the left side of their line with this pick. A skilled warrior in the trenches, Goliath is a massive human. At 9’6” and 545lbs, any defensive end will need to take the long way around. You are not bull-rushing this guy and he will let you know about it too. Said by many analysts to be overconfident, Goliath has no problem telling opponents how he feels. Although he has a history of getting knocked out by small rocks, a helmet should make him nearly unstoppable.
24. Carolina Panthers - Saul, WR, College of Benjamin
The Panthers get their man in Saul. What’s not to like about this guy? He is big, tall, fast, and handsome. One of the more driven prospects to come out of Benjamin, Saul routinely bullies opposing cornerbacks, especially one’s who he feels threatened by. Scouts have been quick to point out that he can be a bit of a diva if he does not get his way. The Panthers would be wise to hand him the #1 receiver job heading into the season. If he is regulated to the #2 position, look out.
25. Tennessee Titans - Zacchaeus, WR, University of Jericho
The short, speedy, shifty, and sometimes shady receiver out of UJ lands in Tennessee. Zacchaeus has great hands, often stealing passes out of the hands of waiting defenders. The biggest knock on Zacchaeus is that many scouts believe he rode the success of his team to stardom. There was no shortage of riches on offense at the University of Jericho and there is a chance Zacchaeus was merely a product of a successful program. He may have to adapt his game to have a chance at stardom in the NFL.
26. Atlanta Falcons - Job, DT, UZ College
The Falcons roll the dice with the undersized DT from Uz College. Once considered the greatest DT the college game has ever seen, his Junior year was marred by injury after injury...after injury. On top of that, several teammates questioned whether his injuries were self inflicted. Despite the enormous setback, Job stunningly put together a senior season that have scouts drooling. Is it possible that he is better now after his injuries? The Falcons sure hope so.
27. New Orleans Saints - Joseph, QB, Canaan College
The Saints prepare for the post Drew Brees era by addressing the quarterback position in the first round. Joseph has everything you could ask for out of this position. He was not only told by God in a dream that he would be successful, but he also had the swagger to tell his father and brothers about it. He has faced adversity at every level and has always earned his spot through years of hard work. Look for him to ride the bench his first year before proving himself in practice. Although a little undersized, Joseph makes up for it with his quick thinking and ability to escape difficult situations.
28. Pittsburgh Steelers - Nehemiah, DT, Babylon University
The Steelers grab a cornerstone for their defense in Nehemiah. While in college, Nehemiah and the rest of his defensive line were known as “The Wall”. He has a unique ability to rally his teammates in moments of turmoil and actually thrives in road games where the opponents are taunting him. The Steelers are hoping he can build a similar wall in Pittsburgh. Opposing running backs beware, there will very little holes to run through in Pittsburgh with the arrival of Nehemiah.
29. Jacksonville Jaguars - Adam, MLB, Eden College of Zoology
The Jaguars select the first ever player to come out of ECZ. The middle linebacker is excellent at two things: dusting off blockers and naming the opponent's plays before they even know what is called. Adam has potential written all over him. One unnamed scout believes, however, that he is one poor decision away from changing the entire culture on his team. He recently married his high school sweetheart, Eve, who the Jaguars hope will keep him out of trouble.
30. Minnesota Vikings - John the Baptist, C, Judea Southern University
The Vikings make an interesting choice on a guy that will never be a long term solution at his position. With that being said, Baptist does a fantastic job of getting his hands dirty and making sure everything is set for the offense to shine. Scouts all agree that he seems to enjoy setting others up for success. Count on Baptist to fortify the center position for the Vikings until a better option comes along in free agency.
31. New England Patriots - Jonah, QB, Tarshish College
The Patriots were not the only team high on Jonah, but in the end, they were able to swallow him up before anybody else. Jonah is a bit of an oddity at the quarterback position. He is a scramble first quarterback, not because he is particularly fast, but because he fears taking a risk by throwing the ball downfield. The biggest knock on him is that he gets easily overwhelmed. He will slide into the backup role and thrive as a player who can step in when called upon, as long as you don't ask him to do too much.
32. Philadelphia Eagles - Jehoshaphat, S, University of Israel at Judah
The Eagles get a complete safety in Jehoshaphat. Scouts rave about his skillset, his intelligence, and most notably—his patience. The game film on Jeho reveals a defensive ace who seemingly waits until the last minute before breaking on the ball and making a play. There is no panic in his game. The Eagles are getting a mature leader who will make everyone around him better.